How many different ways can I procrastinate?

This is driving me crazy. I don't want to write this long revision, but if I don't write it, I'll never FINISH it, and if I don't FINISH it, this movie will plague my head by rewinding and playing in all the ways I COULD have written it. AAAAHHH! I find it funny that Steven Pressfield listed "websurfing" among his list of vices that artists reach for when they encounter resistance to finishing their work. (The others were adultery, addiction, being a pissant jerk to everyone you love, and consuming large quantities of twinkies.) Websurfing is truly a wonderful way to procrastinate. You can imbibe large quantities of information without ever having to DO anything with it! You can even write comments about what you read, and get instant feedback on those comments, where people say, "Oh! You're such a great writer with such wonderful insight into this topic!" Gag me. It's cheep booze for the soul, THAT'S ALL.

I'm working on something that people COULD call utterly ridiculous, not in my field, a first-timer's story, etc. I'm investing a huge amount of emotion and soul into something that may NOT get good feedback! It's hard. I don't want to do it.

I want to retreat back into the land of possibilites where my *potential* was always there, and it was always someone else's fault that I wasn't reaching it. (Somebody go get the "waaaaaaaaaaambulance!") Now that I'm taking responsibility for my own dreams, for reaching these goals....dang, it's a lot harder than sitting around whining about all the reasons why I can't get it done. Now I have no more excuses. Now the only enemies I have to face are: 1) the devil, and 2) my own mind. They're deadly, man! They're fatal! And the only ones who can stop them are me and JESUS Himself.

It's snowing again. Great. :-P Now I can go procrastinate by shoveling the sidewalk. It's easier than sitting down to actually do my work.

Lots of Love,
Taylor.