Accountability

Since March, I've had another huge screenplay rejection, found out I had to move, gotten pregnant, had surgery, lost the baby, moved, had a car broken down, got 15,000 in credit card debt after being CC debt-free for 5 years,(I'm not even THINKING about the medical debt right now) and seriously started to wonder if I'm suffering from depression. I don't want to be suffering from depression.

So, last night, I went to Barnes & Noble, and drowned my sorrows in art books. Lots and lots and lots of art books. It's my favorite form of alcohol. I get the visual stimulation of art without having to do any of the work.

It's times like this when I start to get scattered again, and I'm not sure what to do next, creatively. The house calls out for cleaning, the Bible gets dusty, the kids need attention, and I'm just stuck. I hate being stuck. For the last two weeks, I've been stuck unpacking and cleaning a new house--a house that I love, don't get me wrong!! I couldn't be happier with this house. (Well, I could if it was all set up.) But last night, all I wanted was to sleep and dream about pretty colors.

In order to help free myself from the mire of all these circumstances, I'm going to start blogging again, simply for the accountability. I need to clean, I need to get into a routine, I need to take care of myself, I need to play with my kids, I need to get out of CC debt (again) and I need to create. That's a heck of a lot of needs. None of them can be accomplished by sitting on the couch.

Another thing I need to learn how to do is start loading pictures on my blog and my facebook account. There's no excuse not to do it, except laziness. "Whaaa, I don't WANT to get up and put the SIM card in the computer." Gosh, what a whiner.

Today, I'm going to spend 15 mins on each downstairs room, and pay bills. I'm al so going to load up at least two pictures on this blog by the end of the night. And maybe, just maybe, I'll invite some facebook friends to look at it. :)